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A Mummy’s crypt dug up in central Asia recently threw up a few new ideas about cannabis use in ancient history. There are a lot of theories that get thrown around pretty regularly about how the ancient emperors of China extoled the virtuous healing properties of cannabis for everything from rheumatism to gout, but it seems to overshadow so often the fact that it was clearly used for recreation in many areas.
What the real question is however, is not whether this mummified connoisseur had arthritis or just wanted to party in the afterlife. Oh no… the real question is: what would the horror films have been like had the antagonistic ghouls and ghosts been as big fans of the reefer as this mummified fellow? The movies would certainly have been a shade different…
How would you feel if you woke from a 3 thousand year slumber to find that someone had made off with your dank? Well… first of all you would wonder how much you actually smoked that night 30 centuries ago, and then you’d go in search for some breakfast. But after that you would be pretty steamed about the whole affair.
Of course in the films the mummy goes in search of a reincarnation of his past love, but we now know the truth about these stoner mummies. After waiting 3 thousand years he would have no doubt set about finding a fresh batch of weed and chilling out.
Now… does anybody have any wraps?
The Mummy’s Weed Choice:
Without doubt his favourite seedbank would have been Pyramid Seeds.
Perhaps if Victor Frankenstein had decided to study botany instead of chemistry and alchemy he might not have created the monstrosity that went on to terrorise him throughout his life.
During his creation of the monster, he spent a great deal of time digging up bodies, mixing chemicals and generally being surrounded by gigantic seemingly useless tesla coils (if the movie adaptations are anything to go by.)
Now, if Frankie had taken the time to RELAX then I’m sure all would have gone far more smoothly for him. Replace the chemicals with natural fertilisers and the tesla coils with grow lamps and his genetic tinkering could have resulted in something beautiful. Like a new high THC strain.
The Doctors Weed Choice:
Perhaps the good doctor would have been a fan of DNA Genetics seeds.
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