Tips on How To Be A Stoner
So hopefully some of these tips come in handy for you all and if you have any tips of your own, feel free to email (firstname.lastname@example.org) them to me so I can prepare for a second round of stoner secrets!
1. Ladies, nail polish is a flammable substance. Beware of lighting bowls while in windy areas or in moving cars with the windows down.
2. If you think you’re going to get hungry, make a healthy snack a head of time. I don’t know about you but I love pizza more than any other food and it’s just SO convenient when I’ve been smoking for hours…
3. Don’t fake inhale. I’ve had so many “friends” that blow through my weed because they don’t actually inhale it in to their lungs. While ghosts and tricks are cool, if you’re just going to spew spit and smoke all over the place after you take a hit, give up before you start, ESPECIALLY if it’s not your weed!
4. Corner the bowl! If you get caught torching the whole bowl by sticking the entire lighter right in to their center, someone is going to take away the bowl and you will be in sober quarantine because no one wants to smoke with a noob.
5. Learn to roll… And learn to do it well. People are always impressed with dope rolling skills, even more so if you can produce a strawberry banana split blunt covered in keif. There are some crazy blunt wrap flavors out there and when I smoke a lot of blunts, that combination was always my favorite. But yes, learn to roll and you will have captivated the hearts of all of your stoner friends.
6. Try not to fall asleep. Everyone has a limit of how much they can smoke before they curl up in to a ball and fall into a deep sleep. Know your limit and when you think you’ve had enough, just say pass. If someone calls you names for doing that, you have every right to tell them off. While smoking yourself in to a coma is totally acceptable when it’s 1am, it’s not so much when you’re at a friend’s on his couch.
7. Don’t sit on the joint. It’s cool that you’re sharing the hilarious story of how your best friend got hammered and fell in a shallow river last weekend but there are other people in the room that want to get high and you’re roadblocking them.
8. Carry a bottle of water with you at all times, especially when your going to hang out with friends and smoke. When you take a hit and cough for days, it’s easier to have a bottle of water right next to you than attempting to ask someone for a glass of something.
9. Always clean the bong water after smoking! That water in there gets nasty and can begin to grow mold if you let it sit for too long. It’s not that hard to dump the bong out and refill it. Plus, how good to fresh water bong hits taste? There’s an insane difference between clean and dirty bong water.
10. If someone smokes you up, you are not allowed to complain about the quality of the weed. Someone is nice enough to share their stash with you. If the weed isn’t the dankest dank, at least you’re with good people.
Remember, you can submit stoner tips to me via email for my next round of stoner tips. I hope that you took something away from this list that you didn’t know before and that it benefits your smoking experience. Stay blazed!
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